Actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.
Canadians: No, I say again, you divert your course.
Americans: This is the aircraft carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the US Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied by three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees to the north. I say again, that’s one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be taken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Imagine Albus Severus coming out to Harry:

Albus: Dad, I’m…gay.
Harry: Albus Severus Potter. You were named after two Headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was gay and he was probably the the wisest man I ever knew.
Albus: Dad, you say this every time I tell you something. Stop. Just stop.
—————————————————————————
Albus: Dad, would you mind buying some conditioner? I think we’re out.
Harry: Albus Severus Potter. You were named for two Headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them never used conditioner and he was probably the greasiest man I ever knew.
Albus: Dad, this response is really getting old.
Harry: TWO HEADMASTERS.
Albus: Yes, I get it, two hea—
Harry: BRAVEST AND WISEST MEN.
Albus: Da—
Harry: THAT I EVER KNEW, BRAVEST AND WISEST, TWO OF THEM.