Now, not-so-recently, I realized that there were a lot of phrases/words that pissed me off. These words/phrases are just plain over used in people’s and (sometimes) my vocabulary.
Here We Go:
God never gives us more than we can bear
I hate it when people do that! This usually happens when I’m in the middle of a rant of how much is piled upon me, and I just cannot cope and someone says this. Well, bully for you! How about you stop psycho-analyzing God for a bit?
This is another jewel of human brain evolution. Also accompanied with the word “Like” in the start sometimes, it is a sure fire way to make me want to slap you.
Read on ahead for the rest!
You need to…
.No, I do not. I have no such need. If I did have such a need, I would quite possibly be acting on it.
To be honest…
What is wrong with people who feel the need to punctuate every sentence with this? Oh wow. Thank you. What were you doing before you decided to start being ‘honest’?
Oh NO you DIDN’T.
If you say so
Yes, you idiot. I say so.
I’m just saying…
Yes, I know you were saying.
No offense or anything
How delightfully vague. This is followed immediately by a deeply offensive remark.
Oh joy. Celebrations. Drinks on me.
Unless I recently developed mind reading powers, I can’t guess what. Just tell me before I lose my patience and bite you.
What Should Stay:
As a bonus, I’ve added five which I think should stay in use.
Although very over rated, it is a very handy way to dismiss someone almost completely.
“So you see, in the dictionary fob means to cheat someone.”
Is you is or is you ain’t…?
Oh, I really love this one. It used to be really popular. It not only shows an intense disregard for grammatical rules but also displays quite a bit of arrogance in a question which could other wise be asked politely.
“Is you is or is you ain’t my baby.”
Well, pardon my sarong, Harold!
Let me explain. I read this some where. Apparently, a homeless woman came up to the author (a woman) and said, apropos of nothing, “Well, pardon my sarong, Harold!” Use it in a “Well, excuse me!” sort of way.
“Hey, you’re in my way, move.”
“Well, pardon my sarong, Harold!”
Hell to the yes!
Don’t tell me what to do
Perfect for rebellious teenagers.
“Have a nice day!”
“Don’t tell me what to do.”