What Not To Do While Riding A Motorbike

Hello, people. Today, we have Ali Khan guest starring in my blog, in a spur-of-the-moment decision.

The bike I don't have....yet.

Here we go:

Alright, out of extreme randomness I suggested I’d write some what-not-to-do thing to my ‘boss’. And then I remembered I had a motorbike. And how many times I’ve fallen off/met accidents with my bike.

So I decided to do something good, and tell all of you what NOT to do when riding a motorbike. You know, teaching people stuff out of personal experiences and what not.

Read on ahead 😀


Remember to always ride safe and stay off heavy roads unless you’re a good rider. So beginners, stay in the slow lane of the road, if you want to live that is.

Don’t rush it, there’s plenty of time to reach where you have to. Better safe than sorry, you know. Nothing is more valuable than your life, blah blah blah. Believe that crap too, it works. 😛

Anyways, back to bikes.

You're screwed.

Number One:

NEVER assume that your bike is the fastest thing on the road.

Alright, for all you speed freaks out there, slow down! No one likes broken bones and torn flesh and in some cases, crushed skulls with blood gushing out all over the road.

Everybody loves speed. Its thrilling and fun, and for some people it just raises the adrenaline. And in traffic, whooo, it’s awesome to want more and more speed. Breaking red light signals and getting chased by the police and out running them might be fun, but its pretty embarrassing when you hit something at high-speed getting away from the police. Trust me, I’ve seen that happen and laughed my head off.

Remember, a 70CC Honda is not faster than a 700CC Suzuki. 😛

Number Two:

The foam seat on the bike is for sitting on. Don’t forget that. Ever.

It’s normal to see on the roads of Karachi, specially the Faisal Highway. People using their bike seats for multiple purposes. That sure is awesome, guys lying down on their bikes at high-speed while riding or crossing their legs like they’re sitting on a ‘chaarpaayi’ or standing on the foot rests not holding the handles. But trust me, not a good idea when there’s police around or you’re not good at it  ever. Because the consequences create quite a crowd, if you know what  I mean.

If you think dangerously overtaking a car with an awesome chick in it or ‘wheelifying’ or drifting would work to ‘do fraandship with her’, then dudes. You’re terribly wrong. No one likes a douche trying to kill himself on his bike.

Number Three:

Chicks are good, yes. But not better than paying six grand to some Corolla guy you just hit.

THIS is looking away from the road.

I remember my friend riding with me, speeding on the highway just outside Laal Qila, going along with the flow of the traffic, when we notice this awesome group of broads walking along the road. Cars don’t stop in the middle of the highway, now do they?

Well, they do in Karachi.

Talking and riding, my friend didn’t notice the traffic ahead of him slowing down to dead speed and ran into a new model Corolla. *BAAAAANG* Apart from minor injuries, nothing much happened. The bike’s headlight broke, the car’s dickey suffered an ENORMOUS dent and we broke its backlight too. Poor guy paid the corolla guy six grand, because he threatened to do some BAAAAD stuff. 😛

Anyway, what do we learn from all this? Eyes on the road, bee-ach!

Number Four:

Chill out. If you’re angry at someone on another bike, scaring the hell outta him by almost hitting his side doesn’t always work.

Come on, be sensible. So what if your friend slapped you on the head while speeding from behind you and going forward, laughing. Speeding besides him and almost hitting him doesn’t work a lot of times. Both bikes just end up with scratches and dents and you’d be all bloody and what not. And if you’re lucky, you might just break a few bones too and blame it on each other. (Yaay, new phadda!) 😛

You don't know what awaits you. -.-

Number Five:

Use your cell phone as much as possible, while riding.

Okay, no. Don’t do that.

Don’t ever do that. 😛 You don’t want to be on the phone with your girl when you run into a truck or something. That’s a baaaaad feeling. Apart from embarrassment, you’ll be pretty hurt too. No, not because she’d yell at you. Because you’d hurt yourself falling off.

And the police. They’re just so friendly, always encourage you to use your phone while riding so that they could earn a few bucks out of it. Losers. -.-

Number Six:

Helmets suck. Just don’t get hit.

Okay, I was going through this random page about like, everything. And there was something about bike safety and stuff. It said that wearing a helmet is for losers, just try not getting hit.

DON’T listen to that.

Always wear a helmet. Nobody gets into accidents on purpose. If you do, you should at least keep that big old box of yours safe. 😛

Number Seven:

Swirling your bike around in a wavy pattern is not awesome. It’s just stupid.

The first impression makes a lot of difference, doesn’t it? You don’t want people pointing at you and telling their friends and all what an asshole you are.

And besides, you never know when another idiotic pedestrian is crossing the road without looking. Bad stuff, trust me.

I had a friend who got hit by a bike doing the exact same thing. Poor guy broke his nose.

Number Eight:

Don’t hit the brakes too hard. We don’t want a big long black mark and a person lying on the road, now do we?

Your brakes are your best friend and your worst enemy at times.

You don't want to be this guy. Seriously.

Hit the brakes, slow and steady. And never. NEVER. Hit the front brakes while turning. Specially when there’s a tomato lying in the middle of the road which comes from outta nowhere under your tire. -.-

If there’s a tiny brainless kid on the road, don’t panic. Just slow down and move FAR AWAY from the kid. Hitting the brakes hard would make the bike slip, and uhh. It’d scratch your flesh, reaaaaaall bad.

Okay, Tata, Byebye.

One last thing;

They’re better, awesomer, bigger and more spacious. That is all.

Till next time,

Logging out,

Ali Khan


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